Always Keep Calm.

So the other day I was watching an episode of Survivor where we had a couple of people arguing quite seriously, and while both of them were in the wrong, one of them kept his cool and the other got madder and madder, as in consequence louder and louder.

Now after the episode finished and I decided to see what the forums said on the topic, it seemed everyone agreed with the guy who kept his calm and didn't react, why?

Now I'm not going to talk about what they argued, because in all honesty most of the time it doesn't matter what an argument is about. It matters who behaves better because the point of an argument isn't to prove who is right and who is wrong. People could settle that easily by talking with each other normally without resorting to yelling. The point of arguing is to make the other person look bad, because if they look worse than you do, then surely you're right.

When we see other people argue and one of them sits there calmly while the other stomps their feet, yells out-loud and generally behaves like an idiot, who will we side with? Almost surely the calmer one. Because naturally in our mind we think " Oh the other person can't handle their emotions no wonder they are yelling and acting likc children."

In fact yelling and making a scene can generally be attributed to behaving like a big baby, since really what do babies do most?

So the point of this entire post is basically to say that no matter what happens, what you fight about, how you argue. Just keep calm, because as long as you do you will look better. Anyone will look wrong if they start throwing furniture around and yelling like a lunatic, and even the wrong person can make themselves look right simply by being calm.

Perspective Part 2 Right and Wrong

Howdy, with my university starting on Monday I guess this might be my last post for this holiday unless I write something tomorrow, so lets get to it.

One thing I have always loved, is how we all interpret right and wrong differently then others, what is acceptable for some is a crime for others, in some cases it literally is a crime for others, like for example polygamy.

Is this wrong?

Yet I'm not so interested in whats legal and what isn't, every place uses a different method of determining that, no what I enjoy is the human aspect of it, of how we come to the conclusion of whether what we are doing is in fact right or wrong, like cheating in exams or lying, is something wrong if it saves us from grief?

Firstly lets determine the common ways we judge is something is wrong or right.

Laws.

The law is the most common way to determine what is right and wrong, why? cause basically if you do something illegal, you're caught and will get some form of punishment, the law is somewhat effective as a way to determine whether you should or should not do something, Infact I'd say its very effective, what stops a lot of people from killing others is the idea that if they do, they will be in prison for the rest of their lives or worst be sentenced to death ( if they are caught)

However, the law itself is..... well odd to say the least, for one thing laws are not universal, whats legal in one country is not legal in another, in France you can get a license for prostitution, in Saudi Arabia you'll get an axe instead, so which one is right and which one is wrong?

Another thing about the law is it can be cruel, not all people are judged equally, the law may take into account the motives of the individual and while it usually does do a good job, it has its royal screw ups occasionally.

Aint life fair?

One thing that interests me most about the law is self-defense, I read a story recently about a man who was robed at gunpoint, but he wrestled the guy and got his gun, when the robber tried to run away he shot him. Three times.

Would that count as self-defense or murder? I mean the dude was running, he had no weapon and was no threat, yet he could have been going to call his gang mates to help him out, Hmm....

How would you judge him?

Religion

Ah religion, Where as the Law is based on what I consider large scale things, Religion is more towards everything in life including the Law.

In fact in some countries the law is based on the religion used, but is that the right thing?

Religion is a sensitive issue, since some people have their own religion and some people dont, saying more about it might offend.

However lets compare the law to Religion.

Where as people follow the Law because its either you do that or get imprisoned, Religion tends to be the other way, where as the Law can be summed up as " do this and get punished". Religion is more of " Do this and be rewarded"

So which one do you follow when love and duty come in conflict?

Perspective Part 1 People.

Howdy, it sure feels like I haven't written anything in a while, even thought I just didn't write for... one day.

Anyways I'm planning on writing a series of posts about perspective and how we see things and why different people can interpret the same thing in totally opposite ways.

Firstly I'm gonna start by saying that we are all different, yes its obvious but some people seem to think that we all grew up in the same environment or something and thats not true, we are all so different, separated by beliefs, gender, race, colour, background, country, society, there are so many factors that come into shaping us into who we are and those factors are why we are so unique.

yeah I know what I just said is something we all know

As I said, we are all different people and we react differently to everything, this is perspective, its the way we see things, the way we judge what is right and wrong, what helps us decide to do things or leave them alone ,our perspective in life makes us who we are.

In this post I want to talk about how we can all view the same person yet come to different conclusions about them, ask 10 people about the same person, and each one can you give a different response, starting from " nice guy" and ending with " Complete asshole" and each one of them will think they know that guy best.

So how can one person have so many conflicting opinions about them?
I think there are Two reasons, the first is that we act differently depending on who we are with, Are you the same person with your best friend as you are with your grandparents? Probably not, we changed based on who is around us and we treat others differently, you don't treat each stranger alike, some are treated better then others while some are mistrusted and kept at arms length, three people you have never met can say "Hi" to you and your response can be extremely different to each.

"Bye"

"Bye"

"Hello beautiful"

So thats the first point, that people themselves are very diverse and have many sides to them that they show to people. We should try to get to know more then one side before we judge them.

The other reason I believe we have different opinions of people is we tend to view others in our own way, whats cool for someone is arrogant for others, and whats nice to some may come of as being weak at the same time.

Cool or arrogant? 

In my university, I spend some of my time tutoring other people, they would have a problem in a subject and would ask me for help and usually I'd help them out, I mean why shouldn't I? 

Yet the other day one of my hostel-mates asked me " Why are you so weak ?" and I questioned him what he meant and he said " You spend all your time helping others, you're kinda like a doormat"

That's his opinion, that's what he thought, yet other people thought it was nice to help others, especially when you can make a difference between them passing or failing, if you aren't doing something for yourself, why not help others? at least that's how I think, some Interpret my actions as being right, others say I'm wrong.

We should all try to see things from other's perspective, we don't know people, we don't know what they have been through in life or where they are coming from, yet we instantly think they are wrong and we are right just cause their opinion opposes ours, we spend more time arguing with them and trying to prove them wrong then trying to understand why they think the way they do.

Its said that to understand someone, you need to walk a mile in their shoe, I think you just need to spend five minutes looking through their eyes.